His Love

So many times I have heard that phrase during testimony meeting

"I know that my Heavenly Father loves me."

I've even been the one to say it every now and then. 

I haven't thought deeply into it.

Ever.

I just knew that He loved me.

I never thought about how to improve our relationship.

Until today.

When absolutely no one showed up for my group meeting,

I just sat there waiting and overheard the conversation of the teacher in the classroom across the hall from me.

He was (in a raised voice) speaking about our Heavenly Father's love.

" Everyone uses his love incorrectly in the gospel. 'I messed up, but that's okay because my Heavenly Father loves me.' Right? No."

Eavesdropping I was completely lost. 

I thought that was the whole purpose of the atonement? 

Right?

We mess up.

He still loves and through the Savior forgives us.

Wrong?

The teacher went on to say "See His love is action based. He can only love us so much."

Everyone, including me, was confused.

"Lets look at it this way, you can't love someone you're dating, without actively trying to learn about and love them. It is the same way with the Father. While He feels all the love and concern of a Father, He cannot become intimate and capable of gaining a relationship with you unless you are trying also to love Him."

The music started playing, the angels started singing.

I had an epiphany.

If I want my relationship with God to become better,

if I want to know and love Him, I need to tell Him how I feel and put in the effort.

So I am.

Do you feel estranged from God?

Are you wondering if He is there and if He loves you? 

Kneel in prayer. 

Ask if He is there and if He loves you.

Tell Him you want to be like Him, that you want to be unified with Him.

It will happen.

I know because I've tried.

I know because Heavenly Father wants nothing more than for His children to know He loves them.

He wants you to know that you are important to Him.

Listen to the Small Lessons at Church

Church is a wonderful experience, wherein 

individuals gather together to celebrate and worship similar beliefs together. 

I think it is wonderful.

Why? 

It helps us to remember the covenants we made and to allows us to not only grow closer with our Heavenly Father, but also to help others to strengthen their relationship with our Eternal Father and our Savior.

I love it. 

Church was beautiful today. 

What did I learn?

Sometimes it is hard when your heroes fail you.

When that person you have looked up to while growing up, lets you down.

When you come to the realization that no one here is perfect.

When they go against the one thing they used to stand for.

It is truly enlightening.

You know what is beautiful?

Realizing that Jesus Christ is a perfect resurrected being.

I don't think I fully realized until today that He should be the person I look up to. 

He is eternal.

He will always be there for us, for me.

He loves me and wants nothing more than for me to succeed in life.

He is my Savior, Redeemer, and Hero. 

I look up to Him and His example. 

His love constantly surrounds me and beckons me to come follow Him.

I love church.

It changes lives and souls.

He changes hearts.

If you're struggling with something, you should seriously try going to church.

Even if you don't necessary know or believe that it is true.

Embrace the message and Spirit that dwells there.

Let hope into your heart and let it change you.

Let Him in.

Listen to those small lessons you learn at church.

So clumsy.

Yesterday me and one of my besties went to BWW (Buffalo Wild Wings). I genuinely love eating at that place. It is so tasty. 

[Note: If you have never gone... only go on Tuesday/Thursday otherwise it's EXPENSIVE!]

And I almost NEVER try something new there.

Oh except for Huckleberry Lemonade. I tried that and I will definitely be getting that again. It tastes like pink lemonade, but way better.

Want to know what I get every time I go?

Honey BBQ with Blue Cheese...Yummy! PUH-LEASE try it next time you go! It is thee best thing on the menu in my opinion.

Usually when I go I have a dandy time. Sometimes people who aren't so pleasant come with us(my besties and I), but overall it always ends on a fun note...

This time however, I wanted to mix it up. 

I succeeded. 

We were watching dumbest thing on wheels, one of my fav shows on at BWW and someone was super, how do you say it, stupid.

I proceeded to tell Kelsey about how one time when I was 11, I was really stupid. Just like that guy on T.V. I severely hurt myself and almost made my grandpa die of laughter.

Yes I was that girl who rode her bike into a garbage can. 

Those who know me, know that I can get a little dramatic when I tell my stories. 

Lets just say that while telling my story this time, I was not aware

of my surroundings. Specifically I did not realize my delish

huckleberry lemonade was right next to my hand, that I happened to be swinging.

So embarrassing.

I knocked that cup of amazing right onto my phone, my lap, and the floor.

Luckily BWW has wonderful service.

They got me another delish lemonade and all cleaned up. 

I love my friends. They're great.

I can't wait until I can go again. 

Yum.

Decisions, Decisions

Don't you sometimes wish that just a little bit of your agency could be taken away?

I know I sure do.

Sometimes I just wish that I knew EXACTLY what I needed to do, EXACTLY when I need to do it.

So here’s the decision that has been eating away at me?

Washington, D.C. verses Rexburg, I.D.

I know what you’re thinking, that is a stupid question.

But it really isn’t. I know where I want to be. I know why I want to be there, but that doesn’t always make it the right choice, does it?

I set my mind on Washington DC.

I mean honestly, look at that moonlight setting. It is beautiful, right?

Me and one of my besties Lyndee, were going to go together. I was so excited. Once in a lifetime experience! Tons of history sites plus more politics than I can handle which as of late I have been oddly interested in!!!! Plus, if I was there when I planned on being there, I would (fingers crossed) get to see a president sworn into office.) Seeing some people that I haven’t seen in what feels like an eternity!

However, apparently Idaho was the right answer for me.

Totally different, but still awesome! Actually I love the differences!
Idaho is AHHH-MAZING!

Can anything compare to the Idaho Countryside? Nope.

Can I get a cardio workout walking from my apartment to work? Absolutely!

Will I be graduating college December 15, 2013 if I stay here in Idaho?

Yes I will!!!!!!

Does that mean that I think I am grown up? You know it!

[Key word being think.]

So, turns out I will be staying here in Idaho...
and I'm kind of excited to be almost done with school.


Now sometimes I wish that my agency was taken away so I didn't have to make tough decisions,
but honestly the peace that comes when you make a decision
and know that is what Heavenly Father wants...
That feeling is indescribable. 

Agency is everything.

In the short term, no one wants agency. It would be SO much easier to just know everything.

That's not how it works and you don't grow at all that way.

If you don't have a testimony of agency, get it.

Having a choice is a beautiful and enlightening part of life. It allows you to grow and become more than 

you could ever imagine you could.

Agency is everything.

Little Miracles

There are some times in my life when I can directly see the hand of God in my life through others kind acts.
#1
After our party the other night, I realized my car had a flat tire. You've got to be kidding me! I was hoping that I would be able to drive it to the gas station and pump it up, but after looking at it, I'm pretty sure it would have been disastrous had I decided to drive it anywhere. Luckily, I had a spare tire in the trunk. [Thank you family.] I'm pretty sure the temperature dropped the minute I started to change the tire. I started feeling flustered and couldn't quite focus on the matter at hand.  

And then he came. Our angel. His name was ***insert dream man name*** I'll call him John. John was just the sweetest little farmer boy from Idaho. He goes to BYU in Provo. He was just up visiting the girls here at BYU-Idaho. My guess is that he thinks they are the best girls around. And he is right.
Anyway, tire changed. It looks great. If ever I was to meet him again, I would tell him what a blessing he was that night. Lets be honest, I probably would have messed up somehow without him. Anyway, it's just nice to see that you are cared about and that people love you.
#2
Lets be honest with each other, I'm not perfect (before you judge me, neither are you), but I'm trying my very best to change. So today in one of my classes, my teacher was talking about how people struggle with different things in this life and how the true judge of our character is how we come to deal with those challenges.  He read a quote by Elder Jeffrey R. Holland that struck me down(like a 2x4):
"Picture the faces of those who love you and who would be shattered you let them down."
Mind blown.
This applies to EVERYTHING!
No matter what you're problem is, can you picture the faces of those who love you and would be shattered that you let them down by doing your sin?

Instantly, people I loved popped into my head.
My first thought, my baby brothers. They mean so much to me. I love them and care about what they think. I can't imagine ever letting them down. If I keep making stupid decisions.
Which got me thinking about my parents. What haven't they done for me? They have loved me unconditionally and offered advice on countless 2 am phone calls. What would they think if they found out that I had failed to make this one easy decision.
And my grandparents. They are always making sure I am on-track and doing well.
Disappointment.




   Such a weird concept, yet so effective. Absolutely no action has to take place, but knowing that someone no longer can trust me and that I let them down.
Definitely changed my life.
#3
I have thee best bosses ever! I have never been around people who genuinely care about me and of my success.  They are great! Always caring! I think that I am so blessed to have 3 people who care about me and watch out for me. They make sure that I am physically, socially, mentally taken care of.
It is nice to have "parents" away from my parents and grandparents.
There are so many examples of their kindness, that I can't even begin to describe.


It is wonderful to recognize the tender mercies that the Lord provides for us. In my scripture reading, I read in 1st Nephi (verse 20) again:
And when the Jews heard these things they were angry with him; yea, even as with the prophets of old, whom they had coast out, and stoned, and slain; and they also sought his life that they might take it away. But behold, I, Nephi, will show unto you that the tender mercies of the Lord are overall those whom he hath chosen, because of their faith, to make them mighty even unto the power of deliverance.


Take a little time to think about it and try writing down the tender mercies you see in your life.
It WILL change your life.

I bet you're wondering what I did this past week...

Andrea, Lindsey, Megan, and I went down to Idaho Falls to go to the temple last Friday. So beautiful. Not only was it uplifting, but it brought so much happiness, joy, and laughter. After the temple we went to Texas Roadhouse.

While at Texas Roadhouse, Megan hijacked my phone.  I was trying to type: "Are you staying up to play video games? Dumb! We're going to the drive-in movies? Want to come?" Well, Sister Butler decided to  insert the word fornicate. Rude! I'm pretty sure Cory judged me, until he found out who really sent him that. He busted up laughing once he heard the story.

  But the night was still wonderful, despite the text message that temporarily ruined my reputation. Once again, thank you Sister Butler for that. We ate so many rolls at Texas Roadhouse that it basically carried me over until dinner the next night. I was stuffed. Basically me and Free Willy were twins... as displayed in the picture below.

 We rented Gone and Man on a Ledge. Gone was pretty CRAZY... I'm surprised that my heart didn't beat out of my chest. However, it did once again validate my dislike for Amanda Seyfried as an actress. She's pathetic. As for Man on a Ledge, I slept through it and therefore can't give you an accurate critique of the film.

 I worked hard this week. Like really, really hard. So hard that I got straight A's on my midterm grades! Yes, thank you very much. I feel accomplished and it may just be my own ego, but I'm pretty much a genius. Therefore, this weekend, I decided to go out and have some fun! I went and saw Bill Cosby with Lindsey Haas. He was so funny, but I kind of thought he would be funnier. Overall, it was nice to get out from behind my books and to actually socialize. Unfortunately, this was the only picture I could get of him.

 We walked around in the rain on Friday and felt slightly pathetic, until Andrew and David invited us over. We bonded. It was presh and so inspired. I would encourage everyone to ask themselves what the meaning of life is? Search it out, it's deep. That's why tonight we're going to dinner with them. They're deep. Also, there will be a lot of my friends there and grilled cheese sandwiches(which they're making, which I love).

 I think overall, the best part of my weekend was Saturday. Cocoa Bean has invented a beautiful concoction that mixes Reed's Dairy Ice Cream with their cupcakes.  I was over-the-top when I found out that my favorite cupcake [the dirty turtle--chocolate + mint= amazing] was one of the few cupcakes they made into ice cream. So naturally when they are handing out my favorite cupcake ice cream for free, we had to run right over and get some.

 Shortly after we got the ice cream we went to Derek's Rugby game. As you can tell from the picture, it was beautiful. And by beautiful I mean that the sight of the few masculine Tongans outweighed the sick-nasty sight of tight shorts and butt-cracks flaunted by the other players.

 We went home and made ourselves look pretty for the Mad Flow Hip Hop Show. It was LEGIT. Like crazy cool! It made me wish I could rap. I tried. I failed and I moved on... by showing my mad dancing skills at the Party at the Hart. It was pretty fun. Danced with some people I knew and some people I didn't know... at all. The people I didn't know were unique. All the more reason to dance right?

Such a great week. Now lets hope there is another great one to follow in it's footsteps.

Sunday School

...where to begin? It's interesting the amount of things people share at church! I think some people literally don't think before they speak. It makes me want to be careful about the experiences I openly share. I realized that those sacred experiences Heavenly Father lets us have, should be guarded until dictated by the Spirit. It also opened my eyes to the many small experiences He gives me, and how I need to recognize them and thank my loving Heavenly Father for them.

I guess I am just so grateful for the opportunity I have to live with the knowledge of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Today my eyes were opened to the grace given to me and how I take it for granted so often. I hope that I can live my life better and that my life can reflect that of a disciple of Jesus Christ!

Lots of love!

And the rains came pouring down...

...well, actually it was fire-alarm sprinklers. I came home to find out that someone caught my apartment building on fire. Idiots. Oh joy. Here are some beautiful pictures depicting the event:

Apparently a girl was cooking and started a fire. Instead of throwing baking powder on that bad boy, or I don't know using the fire extinguisher that was literally located less than one foot away... home girl moved it right off the stove under the fire alarm! So dumb. (I guess in her defense... if I were in that situation, I would panic too). Here's the front of the microwave/back of the oven that took the brunt of the beating.

Some freshmen got a picture with the firemen. Lame! (But really, lets be honest... I wish I got a picture too!)

Because this lovely sister set the fire alarm sprinklers off, we now (all 4 floors below the flaming apartment) get to be in the lovely (temporary) owners of these jet plane-ish dryers to hopefully avoid water damage... oh and the thermostat set to 110!!!!! Lets just say that I feel like I'm in the middle of the Sahara during the hottest time of the day!

We were given specific instructions to keep the door shut, because of the dryers... we even got little blue tape reminders!

A bigger view of the two firetrucks, ambulance, and police car. As you can tell, nothing ever happens here in sexy rexy, so when it does, we must get pictures for the record!

Lots of love!

I think I'm dying...

but really... 

Yesterday I woke up nauseous and vomiting at one a.m.  

Soooooo early! 

My chest was on fire. BURRRNNN! It was miserable. So I went to the doctor.

Lots of awkward tests... and painful ones too!

 Plus lots of drugs, so nice.

Then the drugs wore off. I almost died... Instead I fell into a coma... on my bed.

Waking up this morning, I felt like I got hit by a truck.

Now that its almost 1pm, I'm still feeling like the truck is driving over me.

Ouch. 

I've decided that this couch is my new best friend. That and the garbage that so generously takes my regurgitation. So reliable. 

Hopefully this nasty-ish goes away. 

Fast.

Fail.

I think that maybe every single time I start blogging or writing in a journal, I fail at it. I do it for what, 2 days and then stop. Well i guess we'll see how long it lasts this time... but really.

So what's new in my life thus far?

I left manteca :( I miss my family soooooooooo much and my soccer girls. I just love them! 

I left my kids at school, break my heart. I love those kids.

I now live in sexy-rexy (nick-name courtesy of CB).

I love it here. You know why? Because only here can i get sun burnt one day and hypothermia the next.

Only here can I drive with my backpack on to class because I'm SOOOOOOOOOO late.

And only here do I have the opportunity of being in the presence of the superior male.

Geez Louizeee....I am lucky!

I love it here.